She’s here. My precious, beautiful, I cannot believe she’s mine forever baby girl is here. She arrived on Thursday, April 1 after I was induced at 37 weeks and 5 days. I seriously have to pinch myself to believe that I have a daughter. Being a Mama to a baby girl is something I’ve dreamed of for a long time. My heart is full.
There was a moment in her labor and delivery that fear truly set in. L&D with my son was traumatic. With Maggie, it also got a little scary – she just didn’t want to come down the birth canal. I would push with everything I had, and she would not budge. My heart was racing as I feared the worst would happen. I had even told Mike, “I want a C-section. We just need to get her out.” To make matters worse, my doctor wasn’t there. Because induction takes a while, she left earlier in the evening and called in to check on my status.
After one excruciatingly long push with no budging, I looked at my nurses and said, “I want Verticchio. Call her. She needs to know what’s going on.” My doctor lives 15 minutes from the hospital, but I swear she magically arrived five minutes later. I continued to push while she made her way in. I was exhausted, terrified and ready to give up.
Until she walked in the room.
“Missy, you are ok. Maggie is ok. Everyone is going to be ok. We are going to get this baby out and in your arms. I brought help if we need it, but I know you can do this. Now, grab a breath and get ready to push like your life depends on it.”
Honestly, the moment she walked in, I burst into tears. I just knew I was in good hands. I knew she would care for me and Maggie, and I knew I could do it with her lead.
This is going to sound odd, especially because my doctor comes from a Jewish background, but I felt the presence of the Lord fill the room when she came in. His peace (and strength!) flooded me, and less than 15 minutes later, Maggie was here.
Isn’t God’s presence powerful? I don’t know why I correlate it with my doctor coming in, but I believe the Lord gave her the words to say in that moment .
In Genesis 16, El Roi is the name used for God. It means the God who sees me.
When Dr. Verticchio rushed into that room, I felt seen.
I felt as if the Lord Himself walked in with her and said, “I’ve got this. You can do this.”
There are many moments in motherhood (and life in general) in which we will not feel seen. It’s in those moments, when mere humans miss us, that God sees to our very core. He doesn’t just see us, but He comes and meets us where we are.
I just love Him for that.
There was no way to know that Maggie’s birth would be the first of many in the times to come that I would tangibly feel the Lord looking on me, but He’s arrived time and time again.
He always has, and He always will.